I AM Whole

Last month’s Newsletter focused on healing a traumatic event from my past. The healing journey, which involved me and my daughter, provided rich learning for us. In particular, it took this healing experience to really know – on an experiential level – the true meaning of being whole and healing wholistically. This is what I learned.

Like personal growth, healing takes a balanced approach. We are equal parts spirit, mind, emotions and body. A balanced approach is to attend to each equally. Because these four parts make up the whole of who ‘I AM’, when one part changes, grows or heals it affects the other parts.

As human beings we go through many experiences, some are easy, some are hard, and some are fun & loving, while others are painful and traumatic. When you experience a traumatic event – there are emotions that are attached to the event. If the event is not healed completely at the moment that it occurs, the emotions get buried, repressed and stored in our body. Over time symptoms will occur, like head aches. Each time a symptom occurs it is the body telling us that there is something that needs to be addressed. Symptoms that are ignored grow and spread – leading to more symptoms. Most of us do not ignore symptoms on purpose. Sometimes we do not understand what the symptom is trying to tell us and other times we don’t have the skills or tools to effectively address the symptom.

When we choose to heal our physical symptoms – if they are there because of an unresolved traumatic event – as the physical symptoms release, the emotions which were buried will re-occur in order to be healed. To heal an emotion one must allow the experience to be released. Another word for emotional release is forgive.

Looking back at the experience, I am amazed at the timing and all of the events that occurred which supported this journey of healing. It was all so…perfect. As much as I would love to erase the original event from my daughters past, I am grateful for what it has given us and I am blessed and honored to be her mother. As a result of my daughter’s emotional release and healing, she has absolutely blossomed. She is kinder and softer and bold. She knows who she is, she has clear and healthy boundaries, she knows what she wants, and she is willing to share herself, her love and her gifts with the world around her. All of this, because she and I were willing to forgive.

What are you holding on to that needs to be released?
Are you willing to forgive?
These steps will support you:

  1. With whom do you hold resentments? Make a list.
  2. With whom do you hold regrets? Make a list.
  3. For each person on your first list write a forgiveness letter*.
  4. When each letter is complete, burn it or shred it and say these words. “I thank you, I bless you, and I release you.”
  5. For each person on the second list write a forgiveness letter* to yourself.
  6. When each letter is complete, burn it or shred it and say these words. “I thank you, I bless you, and I release you.”

You might need to write multiple letters to the same person but you will know when the issue is resolved by the way you feel. Then you can make a clear choice if there is anything else that needs to be done. Perhaps you want to meet with the person and forgive or ask for forgiveness, perhaps not. Even if you do not speak your forgiveness out loud to the other, they will reap the benefits. BUT, the most important person in the equation is you. When you hold on to past hurts you hurt yourself.

* Receive a free forgiveness letter template. Email your request to: sferguson@SuzanneFerguson.com.